Id like this to be more speech

It may surprise people to know that I am very often disappointed with the way things are, and supposedly how everything is meant to work. I very often look at the way society is and how it manipulates how we feel and what we can and cant do, and I cant help but feel disappointed. If you feel that something makes you feel like a million dollars, then why do you not do it more often? And if you look at our excuses…what are they? I’m busy with other things, i need to see other people, what will other people think if i did? And i often look at the bigger picture of, what did i do with my life if I reach my death bed and get to look back? well I spent all my energy on people that i hope one day will change and turn out they didn’t? or did i spend what time and energy I had on this earth with people who respect me, love me and want me to be the best version of me possible, through the good and bad.

you see, i think we spend our time searching for something in our life, without exploring what we have already more.All I know that I want to connect, i want to grow, I want to explore, and I want to share what I have with the people i respect and love, and I dont want to wait anymore.

So i guess what im saying is, id like this to be more, by doing more.

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Geek Apocalypse is one years old: sharing things is so much better

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On march 27th 2013, after several months of working on the site and doing 5 podcasts in february to prepare,  Geek Apocalypse was born and released into the rich emerald mine of knowledge that is the internet. And now we have reached today, march 27th 2014 that it is our one year anniversary! 58 podcasts later, a live event, a live show and a convention later, I cant believe it is only being a year and I have so much to be thankful for.

I’m going to break my rule of being proud of myself, because I have thought about Geek Apocalypse alot. One of the things that often angers me is how easy people think it is to do what i do. to talk for an hour, to organise things and promote other people and run the site, It is a full time job. Anyone that listens to the shows especially early on would know I wasnt sure what i was doing , all I knew was that I wanted to be able to be passionate and interested in not only the topics that come up but guests that i cared about and was interested in. I always feel that way, every single day I get up, and I know its something I’m so pleased I have, but to be proud about the shows is because I feel as I have done them I have gotten better at being comfortable being a geek. Being myself. And nearly everyone  thats been on the show has said to me afterwards ‘that was fun I really enjoyed it’ . So in that sense I have done my job. One of the things I wanted to do was to have a podcast that felt safe, that showcased people in the north east that were talented and fun, and also to reach for people in geekdom who I admire and appreciate. So to be able to achieve that all in the first year is quite unbelievable.

as I said to Jane who is on the show next week, all you need to do to be on the show is to be alive, and be interested. And from my personal perspective being the host, interested in things and people. If you think about it  how easy should that be? be yourself and be interested, ultimately one of the reasons I made the podcast is to convince people that it is ok to talk about things you love and like publicly. There are so many people I met who are waiting for permission, rather than simply breaking down the doors to then think ‘fuck it, if i fail I’ll fail, but ill be myself and do something I generally want to do’. Thats so key to me, there are people who come on the show beforehand that arent sure it is for them, and find themselves saying ‘is that it can we do more?’ The thing is as well, I am no one special, I am just someone who is respectful enough to be genuinely interested and is willing to give people a chance. 

Ofcourse, on a purely basic level I got to meet some people I admired for a long time, I got to meet the whole cast of red dwarf, which was the show that my family watched together and began my love of all things geeky. I got to go to conventions and meet Andrew Hackard whos been on tabetop, and matt leacock who made some of my favourite games, I got to talk to producers, actors, artists, poets, musicians, comedians, entrepeneurs, which shows I do not have a rule in who can be on. As I said on the first blog I wrote about starting Geek Apocalypse, Geek is simply a term of being passionate and interested in whatever you love. Its not what you love its how you love it, and for whatever reason how we love things seems alien to me or half hearted. Look at how impersonal life is becoming, with so many posts over actually speaking to someone over the phone, or going to see someone. For whatever reason we do not feel its important or relevant anymore.

I am proud of what I’ve achieved, but simply I am a person that works hard, I spend more of my day frustrated and angry than feeling I have achieved anything, but I am always grateful for the opportunity to enjoy the things I enjoy, and share it with people i know, and even people I don’t. that’s the beauty of life, thats why its so enjoyable. Sharing is so much better than doing things on your own.

The thing that means so much more to me though, is the fact that I feel in my own small way that I am making a difference. We did a convention that was a huge success and I get families coming up to me telling me stories all the time about how playing games together matters and has brought their family together. I also have opened up about my battles with manic depression and have 100s of people open up to me about how difficult it is and how me telling my story makes them feel like they are not alone. because 99% of the time I feel chronically alone but if I can help the person thats sitting in their bedroom feeling no one cares, then that means so much to me. we all need help, its whether you can find someone thats willing to help you thats the problem. The thing that most upsets me is how nothing feels completely different, people are afraid of telling the truth, and are afraid of doing anything that really matters, so i will keep battling that, we need people, we need you, we need me hopefully and the only way we can do that is realising we need to work harder helping each other. So I hope by me telling the truth makes anyone realise that we can beat this, and you can do what you want to do if you really want it.

so after 100’s of thousands of downloads later, another podcast that we produce, an album recording, a convention, a team of people who have helped me along the way, i have so many people to thank. i wish to thank my good friend graham for building my site and doing all the posters for me, because without him i wouldn’t have a thing to promote, to all the co hosts i have had, Wayne, Robbie, Drew and James and to every single guest who has been willing to give them my time and opportunity to get to know them. I really appreciate it. to  the few friends that have supported me and encouraged me to do this, i love you, keep up the support! This podcast gives me the opportunity to speak to some of the most talented people I know, and if this becomes the only thing I do I will be the happiest man in the world doing something i love as a job. it really is that simple.

And to anyone that has took the time to listen to the shows, or come to the events, or emailed me when they didn’t have to, thank you, it means the world to me, Don’t anyone ever tell you you don’t mean anything and you cant make a difference.

your loving geek

Steven Hesse

p.s Ill be releasing the podcast with shamol begum today as treat being the 1 year anniversary! so please do have a listen when it comes out!

 

 

 

 

Geek Apocalypse expands with Podcast against humanity!

one of the things I always wanted When I started this brand, website and podcast was for Geek Apocalypse to get better, improve and expand slowly and surely and to have that happen within the first year is just amazing!

To give you a little context into how this happened, I have known Drew since we became friends through going to play board games at Newcastle gamers , where we discovered amongst other things our love for the board game Lords of Waterdeep and generally our love for all things geeky! After contributing in being part of the Geek Apocalypse Podcast co host guys, for example when we went to the awesome Screencon and Drew got to meet mr rimmer aka Chris Barrie for the first time, he came to me with the idea of expanding the network with a show where guests come around a table and play the brilliant cards against humanity card game! Genius Idea! So that’s exactly what we have done!

It made me think of what I said in the first blog post about the idea of Geek Apocalypse way back at the start of last year:

‘The main focus of the Geek Apocalypse name is to develop a podcast where I have a conversaton with artists, performers, basicly curious interesting people about a variety of projects, and give as much time for them to answer without the annoyance of hitting bullet points or endlessly plugging events. the progress after is to make  a live podcast for an audience 6 times a year and to do variations of web videos for our YouTube channel. There will be other podcast presenters doing a variety of different shows and will be taking new presenters on as the website develops!’

to achieve that still within the first year of starting this is amazing, so I need to feel more grateful for that and realise what I am doing is worthwhile and it is making a difference.

So please do check out our awesome and funny new show @podcastagainsth here https://t.co/yeCWg3ZSYx and subscribe to it so you can get the next episode as soon as its released! Episode 2 is hilarious as Drew goes back to essex to play the game with his brother and his old mates!

So please spread the word But mainly….enjoy being a geek!

 

 

 

 

Episode 47 Geek Apocalypse podcast with Andrew Hackard/ why tabletop gaming is awesome!

 

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Doing the Geek Apocalypse Podcast is pretty amazing and last may I got the opportunity to go to uk games expo in birmingham which was literally like walking in lego land for board game fans like myself. I had the biggest nerdgasm walking around getting to see all the toys available to play and get to share my passion with other like minded people who were just as enthuasistic. That’s what’s so great about being a geek or nerd, you can be open about what you love and find people that share the same passions, fears and insecurities as you do. but the biggest thing is that it is ok to be who you are, as long as your the normal things we want people to be, kind , honest, grateful etc

Anyway I digress! I met several great people and interviewed people for episode 15 and 16 of uk games expo and top of my list was Mr Andrew Hackard. I wanted on here to explain that the reason for this was because of two things, munchkin and tabletop. I played munchkin for the first time something like 10 years ago and it was one of those pillows of geekiness that shifted me from pretending to be someone else, but focus on being who I actually was, a geek that was afraid of being one, like several other people I knew. Also, Andrew was on tabletop, the show by wil wheaton and felicia day that finally kicked me up the arse to say, ‘look you like this, why are you ignoring this?’ so I started going to board game clubs and explored making it a hobby that I loved.

Andrew was super nice that day, I sat through his seminar and was gracious in giving me time to talk to him before it on the podcast. but what meant a lot to me, was later that day. I had came on my own to that convention for financial reasons, and was waiting for my train, and Andrew came over to me and I spent the whole time talking to me till I left, about half an hour, and it was so nice of him to do that. I said at the time that board game guys are really the nicest people I have met and they generally are!

so fast forward to this week, and Andrew agreed to do a full podcast with me! we talk meeting at uk games expo, working for Steve Jackson, Andrews experience being on the great board game web series Tabletop, his friendship with Wil Wheaton and thoughts on Geek and Sundry! We also talk the Munchkin franchise, conventions, new upcoming games such as ogre and its upcoming expansion, as well as upcoming games Munchkin Adventure Time and the remake of car wars! and really everything else board games related! super fun podcast and a real interesting guest!

we recommend you have a look at www.sjgames.com to find more info on everything Steve Jackson games is up to! You can also follow Andrew on twitter @RedPenOfDoom !

you can find the podcast here at http://www.geekapocalypse.com/shows or on itunes here https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/geek-apocalypse/id626098673?mt=2  or simply search for geek apocalypse!

 

 

Merry Christmas from Geek Apocalypse

So its another Christmas! As I sit down after another dose of lovely Christmas dinner at my sisters, surrounded by people I care for and love, I sincerely hope you are having a lovely Christmas day figuring out something to do before doctor who comes on! I mean…..what else is christmas for?? *phone rings* hello? what do you mean giving gifts? wheres your whovian spirit!

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this was the sight early in the morning of my nephew Sam’s new present , notice the two adults in the frame? sure this present is just for my 6 year old nephew?

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the table, pretty awesome thanks sis!

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My family eating said meal,the one ordering people around is my nephew 😛

 

So on behalf of everyone associated With Geek Apocalypse, from contributors to co hosts, web helpers and I’m sure everyone whose been a guest on our show, can I wish everyone a very Happy Christmas! As I say in my show, I hope the festive holiday finds you enjoying being a geek even more than usual 🙂

may the geek be with you…always! Merry Xmas!

Steven

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p.s the next episode of geek apocalypse podcast with be released on the 28th with Andrew Hackard, due to itunes needing its beauty sleep this week!