you can have fun 2moro, I need you today

Ive always thought this and wondered if I will ever meet anyone who understands where I come across with this. But I find this topic fascinating and overwhelmingly dissapointing at the same time. Is what constitutes needing someone? And when does that line get crossed?

I always find it difficult to express this, but I firmly believe that the principle is right, and we as human beings maybe need to recognise it. What i am referring to is, at what point does someone need to reach where one can understand that the situation needs drastic, and emergency action and that they need someone to be there. Its abit like this weekend, where I have been trying to get medication for my depression and find that the nhs cant help me unless my life is at risk? does that mean to suggest im not worth caring about unless I am suicidal? does that mean the fact that I hurt and struggle and feel lonely everyday that I am struggling to survive-is that not an emergency? just because I am not actively trying to end my life, doesnt mean I dont often wish it to end  with what i am going through. is that not worth helping? do i just deal with it? because the mere fact im asking for help, is I cant.

And this concept of being there for someone is interesting, because it is very often given to the person helping to decide what help the person needing it gets. And I very often think, when for example one says, well Im needing to sit with my family and they might need me, that I think, but in this criteria, when someone you say you love and support, needs you to be there and asks you to help, who is the one most in danger? who is the one that isnt safe? because ok your family might need you 2moro, but the one that needs you needs you now. not 2moro, not next week, now. and what if something happens and you weren’t there, if I was playing devils advocate? the first thing most people say in that sense is, I wish i was there. why cant you be? or more likely why werent you?

because under that criteria, anyone outside a circle theyve created that needs help, is overruled by someone who right now, this second, doesnt need any help at all and is safe, so all your energy your putting in someone that doesnt need it.   And that then means the only thing stopping them is that it must mean they must not love the needy person enough or care enough to leave their own safe zone. is that not a fair thing to think? but if you do need someone, its because you have no safe zone, and you are trying to find one by going to someone who makes the situation safer and better and you trust and most likely love. Which if you believe in the principle of loving and caring, is the right thing to do. arent we meant to ask for help? aren’t we meant to break down and need picking up?

Or another way of looking at it, is people then look at you and say you have to get through this yourself? but what if you have tried everything? what if you tried everything you can to be better? and ok , I might be alive 2moro, but I’m dying today, so is that ok to know and do nothing about?? and under that purpose we would never need anyone in our life. because under that basis, we need to be strong enough that we can never ask someone to be there or be needed? whoever thinks that is being unrealistic, and in essence lying. is it better to be fake?

I ask you this as an aside, how do we make relationships meaningful? isnt it through being there through whatever it may be?

Having helped people and gotten help like this, the best most effective form of help ive seen and gave, is rapid and quick and reactionary and instant, and if you think about it, If I said to you that I was hurting, I was Struggling, I was unsure, afraid and needed you, and i loved you, and you know I did, what would you want me to do if that was you? you’d want me to come and you’d want me to be there, right that second. And I dont see how people dont see that, if you help with that amount of power by going round, being there, consoling,as it happens, when its happening, it would take less time to help them in the future, and they would most likely get better quicker. So even if you think ill help them alittle bit at a time when I can, its nowhere near as effective, as meaningful, as helpful, and a better connection to a human being than helping with the problem now. And it doesnt treat them asking you that they need you as seriously as it should be.

If i ever had a family, and this is the crucial bit, and my best friend said to me, Steven, I am struggling today, and I could really do with your help, so i need you be here and then i decided to stay in cos my wife might need me, then Ive married the wrong person, cos she would know i value everyone I love with the same understanding and know how serious i would treat that. so if there wasnt a crisis in my house, i would know that I would be needed in a crisis that is real right now outside of it, and all they would need to do is ask me and tell me, and I can make the most difference by going now not 2moro. Cos they might not need me 2moro, but if we aren’t there for each other at the most crucial of times, whats the point in being friends, whats the point in relationships. whats the point in being needed?

I can understand as well the premise some people have of rather having just people in there lives who are always happy, and keep their problems to themselves, but would life ultimately mean as much if you arent there for the bad stuff as well? think about the best thing youve ever done for someone, it would most likely be when you were there for someone because WE DONT NEED SOMEONE ALL THE TIME. yet when anyone does need someone, its suddenly so difficult to do, which is why it means something, the hardest things in life are worth doing the most, and we can have  million great time, good times, fun times, but to get truely close to someone, you need to be there for the bad. and when it happens, because this isnt said enough, but helping someone is never convenient, but neither is the pain that person goes through. that doesnt make it a reason.

i guess we are growing up in a world, where the easier option or the more instant gratification is better. ive never been more disappointed in humans. i thought we could be better at this. but maybe, I wont be loved enough for this to happen. who knows?

because you can always have fun 2moro, but i need you today, and not soon, or later, now.

 

 

 

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Depression lies part 2: manic depression/ why sharing is everything

I recently put up a new vlog where I talked about my battles with manic depression and how I hope that it would help anyone who feels anything like I do get the help they need and some comfort that that someone also feels like they do. heres the link!

I have been feeling  over the last few weeks very lonely and finding life in general difficult so many ask me why go through the struggle of doing something like this. the honest answer is I want to make a difference, and as I have been saying in twitter conversations there is people in this world that I love that do not understand what i go through and the only way we can get better at this is through being open, so it gives people the chance to understand more and help.

So i hope this helps you, or someone you know, and tell me if it does as some already have and it means the world to me just to tell someone that we do not have to fight this alone anymore, i certainly am sick of it!

your friend

Steven

Socal media/texting gives us too much of an easy choice

Its funny if you look back at the inventions of what made things we use today great in regards to the internet. They always end up not being as good in my opinion as they once were. Or they lose their original purpose and become a kind of mesh of random not as good as if you looked elsewhere type thing.

Look at Facebook for example. What was once invented for Harvard students to share photos and comment online has become a messenger,advertising,company driven, celebrity taking, gaming network that all not as good if you went looking for one of them features individually. The key reason it works to me in popularity is that it gives the impression that you have everything you could need: browse what your friends are up to and share photos easily and talk to anyone that is on your friends list. Sounds great doesn’t it?

Problem is that its a bit like reality TV, trying to imply something happening when nothing is.The thing is the more that people I know combined with the bigger that Facebook gets the more I think its becoming incredibly destructive for a number of reasons. It makes things far too easy because you most likely already know what they have been up to because of their posts on their Facebook profile. recently family members brought some holiday photos round and members of my family said, ‘don’t need to see it cos I seen them on Facebook’ and I thought ‘we are losing the ability to personally and privately share and be grateful of people making an effort’. They went out of their way to print photos to show us and we threw it back in their face and the thing is, this is the way you know someone cares and how you actually connect with people  on a personal level. That connection is lost fleetingly and not seriously because its a small post in the large amount of posts you see on an average day.

As I said earlier, You know already most likely what the person has been doing by the post or photos they do, so when you next see them as they discuss what it was they were doing  your most likely to say ‘oh yeah I seen it on face book’. We are losing essentially small talk, but the  thing is, some people who I hold dear are deciding not to share things not because they don’t want to but because they think everyone they know has seen it already and don’t want to repeat themselves. That worries me in regards to having meaningful relationships and friendships that it makes it hard to actually regularly connect with people in a natural spontaneous way. Look at how people end up liking each other, usually its something you are never expecting and want to explore. It’s abit like a dating profile, you already know what you don’t like about someone or don’t before you have even met them. Yet, anyone who I’ve seen who are with someone know chances are they will be something that will annoy you, it implies and encourages a perfection that just isn’t realistic in finding.  because by our very definition we are human beings that makes mistakes and it just is not truthful.

The other thing that really disturbs me is texting, because again it was meant to be used as a quick way of communication and yet people try and talk to me about serious stuff when it literally doesn’t fit the technology. I say to everyone all the time, the problem with texting and any written communication is that it is your interpretation in reading it, which can easily not be the way that the persons means in what they are saying. At least in a phone call you can hear the way they are saying things and make a more informed decision. It should only be an option though if you can not go round and see them directly. If you really respect and like someone, they deserve to be told to their face, regardless of what it is that you are telling them.

Also, being a liberal in that people should say what they want, it still shocks me that people use facebook or social media as a way to personally attack someone. IF they are important to you and have upset you, tell them and deal with it properly, and if they aren’t worth bothering about, then why spend time telling everyone else you kinda know or not know what you think about it. It doesn’t make sense, but people in an open society feel the need to declare themselves, yet how they do it is self defeating.

The thing that really concerns me, is that we are building a generation of cowards, that would rather do the easy way than the right way. If your doing that every day then its going to seep into other parts of your life, and that’s not the right way to grow. the truth is what’s important and we need to get back to that. Would you rather be known as brave and honest, or a coward and a liar?

Always use things in moderation, and I hope we don’t lose the beauty of getting to know someone.

Confidence and Paranoia-Depression lies

I’ve had this in my drafts folder of my blog for an awfully long time, but I’ve been touched by a recent friend of mine that is going through a lot that I feel this is the time to share this.I don’t share this to put the emphasise on me or to expect sympathy or pity in this regard, I share this because a friend in need thinks they are alone and thinks there is no hope, so I hope by me sharing my experiences and putting my struggles out there encourages people who feel the same way to seek help or find a way to talk to someone about it. Because believe me when I say that this is hard and difficult to say, but If it ultimately helps someone then It is worth doing and I hope that it does with someone. And trust me when I say I should of said this way earlier than now because sharing ultimately is for the better, no mater how hard the subject is.

Its worth pointing out that I am not a doctor, I am just speaking from my own experiences and trying my best to describe the feelings that I experienced at the time that I felt them. Because the most difficult line that everyone has difficulty saying or hearing is….I am depressed. I am a depressed person. Because the first reaction usually is that if your the depressed person, you think your life is over, or you don’t know what it really means or even worse you are not even aware you have it.  Also, what do you do if your the one being told by the depressed person? you’ll most likely feel helpless to help, and sometimes don’t know how to help someone in that condition because you too don’t feel capable.

To me that is a crucial and important point. I am often hearing people say ‘I don’t understand’ or ‘I do not feel capable’ and it makes me concerned that the solution to certain people with depression is ‘it will pass’ or ‘lets do nothing about it’ which is not a solution at all -to anything never mind depression. If you are a depressed person you can do something about it but it is having the knowledge to help yourself in the right way and the best way. For Example, if your want time to yourself when your sad, that is perfectly normal, but if all you are doing is spending time alone,feeling lost, insecure and unsociable for a longer period of time there is most likely something more going on than anyone is aware of. If you are aware of that, you need to know that you need to make the brave step of telling someone, and most likely getting help by visiting your doctor. Because you are worth something, you are interesting and worth getting to know, you are being told by your poorly brain lies and it needs help getting better. Unfortunately, as I will explain in my experience, a persons first instinct when depressed is to hide, because they are ashamed and embarrassed of what people will think of them. Hopefully anyone reading this that does think they know someone depressed recognises this and tries to help them, because you can help a depressed person, by simply letting them know that you are there as they will need you at some point. The key is it is not their fault and they will get better with help as you will now read through my experience.

All I can say with complete confidence is that I am a depressed person. It was only when I started getting therapy sessions that I realised how depressed I am, and will be for the rest of my life. My first recollection during these sessions was going back to seeing myself growing up feeling utter rage and energy that was very difficult to handle. It would start in my gut and build and build and build until I tried anything that I could to let it loose and try and get under control without anyone noticing. What I was also aware of is how fast my mind works or how slow the world around me felt and feels still to this day. Everything around me just seemed so unbelievably slow and whenever I would listen I’d be around 5 thoughts ahead of my own thoughts. To give an example, Id say ‘how are you?’ Then id be thinking ‘I’m good, well not really but best be polite, wow they look nice, better than me, oh god I hate this, I want this to end they hate me’ by the time they said ‘I’m good thanks’. And I was finding it completely unbearable to control. And I would say this was from around 8 years old, with the odd memory before that feeling the same way.

One of the worst times I ever felt this way was the time I finally got diagnosed with my condition. I was getting angrier and more irritable, and my brain kept telling me that life is just a total disappointment. I got some sort of release by writing songs, I have written something like 3000 songs since I was about 14 and I put about 200 of them on my wall as each individual incident and memory to look at. But that stopped working after a while, because as it gets worse and worse you cant find the words to say what your suffering any more. And to be totally honest, I stopped hanging out with my entire social circle because of that. It wasn’t because they didn’t care, I just took myself out of every possibility that someone would find out about my horrible secret. The hardest bit to talk about is that I spent every single day and every single second wanting to die. I cant say it any other way to make it any clearer or as poignant. I had a plan that I thought out every Inch and detail on how I would do it. Nothing was interesting, I stopped looking after myself more than usual and I stopped being productive. I just did not think that anyone would understand what I was going through and It was never I can honestly say a cry for help. Because I hadn’t told anyone. The first help I got was a total accident. I sat in a history lesson ( I remember every detail) and I resented everything that moved. And something that had never happened throughout my struggles was that I cried. Uncontrollably. I asked to be excused and never went back. Was is hard to admit but true is that I really did this next bit because I was so embarrassed that I went to my form tutor upstairs to tell her something, anything to get out of school. To her credit, She knew that I was trying desperately to not reveal anything and just exploded with fear and crying my eyes out that she took me straight to get an emergency appointment. Now what I am ashamed to say is that I even considered not going in to the appointment. But I still treated it half heartedly cos I kept thinking ‘doesn’t matter because I can go home and will myself to take my own life’. As difficult as it is to say it is the truth. The GP gave me some medication and I got some sort of release for a limited time. But I was getting very little support and very little help because I wasn’t telling people the truth or giving people the opportunity to help me. But as the title of this blog says, depression lies , tells you things that does not speak the truth but its all you ever hear and it wont let you have a seconds rest telling you your shit, worthless, and no one cares and you shouldnt try with anyone or anything anymore. But its not the truth, and you can beat it. The hard part is admitting that you need help. The rest will come I promise you.

My second confession is my worst episode in my life. I started getting worse, What people don’t know is that I got special consideration to go to university because my work was suffering. The last thing I wanted to was to pick up a pen other than writing that dreaded word ‘depressing’ songs over and over again. The same thing happened at university at first year, in that my work and life suffered and I started drinking and smoking. I was trying so hard to stop thinking the way I felt, lonely, tired, bored, uninterested and uninteresting to others. I was trying to find a way to not live. Luckily I had a bunch of friends who saw this when I got heavy handed with drink, rage and strange behavior and had a full blown manic episode. I was crying in my kitchen and scared to look at anything and to be brutal I was beginning to self harm. They called the police and the ambulance without my knowledge and I walked out, they wrestled me to the ground and took me straight to hospital. I honestly don’t remember what I thought other than I felt betrayed by my friends (horrible to think I know) but I definitely felt like I had an outer body experience which was later one of a series of manic episodes I had had throughout my life. Its worth noting that these friends don’t speak to me anymore, I wasn’t a nice person throughout this, and I can understand them for choosing that path of not forgiving me,but the fact remains, without their intervention I wouldn’t be here telling my story. What I will say Is its really hard to be grateful and put things in perspective because I was not all there. I refuse to use that as an excuse, its simply the truth that I do not remember a great deal of what I was doing and I felt totally out of control and I apologised after I recovered, thats the least I can do.

The strangest feeling about the whole thing was I remember not caring even when I was escorted into the hospital which I found to be a psychiatric ward and I sat in a room that resembled an interrogation room from a CSI type show. I waited what seemed like days and two guys with white coats came and I found myself saying everything, honestly and as accurately as I could. And the first thing they said was it was amazing how much I recognised what I was going through, which confused me and my response I think gave them all the data that they needed,-‘but I’ve been struggling with this for years’. As they left, the most important moment happened. I looked around my surroundings and I pretended to be in a cop show, which sounds dumb, but what was so crucial was I laughed, and I really meant it. I’d got my sense of humour back and honestly, something as simple as that lasted me the recovery period, I somehow knew the war was beginning to end. I was immediately put with the crisis team who basically look after you for the first amount of weeks essentially they are suicide watch and I began seeing a doctor everyday to be treated. He put me on such strong medication that It knocked me out at night and then they went about getting a therapist to see me who is my therapist to this day. During these sessions and through specialist doctors they diagnosed me as having bipolar disorder, and it was like the puzzle of my life had finally been solved. I wasnt weird, I have an overactive brain, im poorly and I need help. I will need help forever, but I learnt to accept it.

So what now? I currently don’t take any medication and Im pleased to say I have better days than I do bad days, my bad days usually come In clusters where for about a week I really struggle to be motivated to do anything. But I do have extremes of moods that really are difficult to manage, but It really is a case for me now to say I know what this is and try to manage each episode as it comes. Anyone thats seen stephen fry’s documentary will know that I do get the other side, massive europhia moments where I am literally on cloud nine. Unfortunately they come so sparingly that its hard to wait for. But just like in the documentary, I too wouldn’t press the button to stop being bipolar if I had the choice. Because the high moments are moments you wish you could give anyone, and are better than any drug.

I believe in telling the truth, cos lies just like what depression tells us does not help anyone, so truthfully I struggle and its a battle I may not win and that’s something I know since I first got told. A high percentage of bipolar sufferers unfortunately do commit suicide and I hope that I do not take that road. But truthfully, as of today like most days, I thought about how convenient it would be if a car accidentally hit me. Death would be fine. Luckily I feel better just in writing about this, writing for me is a therapy no question and in most cases can calm me down a notch. The reason I say that is I am here, I am beating the statistics, so if you have any form of mental health, you can beat it with the right help.

But there is help out there, practical help. I know if I need to go to my therapist I will go there and I will talk to her about things. Or if I need medication I will consider going back on them, I realise sometimes I need that help to get there and I have no issues going on them if it all gets too much. They saved my life more than once so I know it will help. The thing that I wish would help with depression, is that there is such a stigma and lack of understanding involved, and all the proof that I need to show is this lack of knowledge nearly killed me, cos I had no idea what I was going through. The problem is in a general sense that far too many people misunderstand what depression is. Maybe they should change the name of it because it is often associated with the natural process of feeling down. But if you have lost your job, accidentally set your house on fire, are annoyed at your partner for a legit reason, then you naturally will feel down and upset. Depression is when it is unnatural, when you have the perfect relationship and just got a pay rise and still feel like jumping off the nearest bridge. Obviously the spectrum is fairly wide, but unfortunately, it is far easier and cheaper to give people medication then do therapy and get to the root of the problem. Like I said at the beginning I am not a doctor, and its really difficult to diagnose, but if we all know more, by having being more informed we can make a better judgement surely?

Its a bit like seeing someone with a broken leg, if they are struggling, if your a good person you’d hold a door open for them. just because depression or mental health is internal, just because its our brain that’s broken, why should it be any different?

And as I said earlier, if you think someone is in danger, or feels anything like I have said, please do something about it, they will thank you for it if they are one of the lucky ones that get better. I hear far too many people say to others ‘you will never understand’ and that worries me, because I’m one that does know a bit about it, and I hope even in small way, I’ve helped by reaching out and telling my story, It has really been difficult for me to, but I hope it is worth it and helps someone realise they are not alone and you can cope with your condition. People have said to me this is brave, but this is not brave, being brave is being open and honest to say ‘I need help’. It gets easier from then on in , believe me. I hope you take the leap.

Because I noticed recently, its been 8 years since I got diagnosed this month, and I really am grateful to be here, cos I shouldn’t be.

Depression lies, so lets be honest and tell the truth…because it ultimately is for the better of everyone.

Your friend

Steven Hesse

update on lack of blogs! busy busy bee honey writing web series!

IMAG3537Ι am aware I haven’t wrote anything in a while and it has been bothering me, because in totally honesty, I really enjoy writing this blog. every since I have written stuff down from around 14 years old, it is very much therapy for me. And those that know me know I very much need as much therapy as I can get! which does sound funny but is also very much true! I am just always hopeful that its fun crazy more than any other type of crazy. Ill pause now as any friend reading this politely nods….

by the way I’ve had a blog in my drafts folder for a while now, where I have wrote about that very subject, and for various reasons I have never been able to press the publish button, mainly because it needs work and I don’t feel its the right time to dedicate my time telling my story on that.Maybe its the feeling of if I go ill go all the way kind of feeling.  But one day I definitely will, especially with the importance of talking about mental health being reminded with Stephen fry admitting his struggles recently. It will always be important to talk about it because my immediate reaction to Stephens admission  is that I hope one day mental health wont be debated, but understood. And if i can help that happen by even one person knowing my side of that then it will be worth doing, just like my mam talking about her parkinson illness, the more people that know the better everyone can understand the condition. but like i say, one day ill talk about it fully from my point of view,

but the truth is in regards to my blog inactivity, is that I have been ridiculously busy after uk expo. not only did I do two blogs during the weekend and then have to edit two podcasts, but Most of my recent time has been spent writing a web series. My basic and rather tragic failings after uni was I tried to get into the BBC as a producer and got very close to doing so. now one of the things they ask you to do is write a pilot, so I wrote a show called looking forward to failure! now ever since I wrote it, it has been on my old computer that i originally thought Id lost the data for . but, I came up with the genius solution (ok my cousin did, but he isn’t here to take the credit!) to buy the casing for a external hard drive so i could reuse my old hard drive. So through the wonder of magic commonly known as technology, hey presto! I could get my data of it and there it was, my old series pilot!  So, after willing myself to think it wont suck balls, I decided to read it, and yeah it needed work ,but it got me feeling passionate about writing again. And some of it made me laugh which I very rarely do in regards to my own material. So I decided there and then to commit my spare time to write this and see if i could make it a web series!

its funny, I really don’t believe in coincidences or that the stars align and all the pieces fall right into place,(I’m a scorpio that ain’t gonna happen-joke) but I know things can influence me. coupled with the good fortune of finding the script I have been watching so many web series, that it made me realise that something like this can be possible if I put my mind to it. It’s really weird though, cos like I said right at the beginning of this blog I really struggle with having to be over confident in making something happen but with business and creative pursuits you kinda have to be. With a web series you kind have to have the mindset that it will be made then it will be successful in order to have the motivation to make it happen in the first place. Or at least I have to, which makes me sad because all i really want to do is to see it made but anyone that writes something that says that  they don’t care if its not successful are simply not telling the truth.  

Ultimately, I think if i don’t dedicate all my time to it ill slack of and then lose the desire to complete it ,and to be honest, I do that far too often that I might never complete any idea ever! so other than my regular schedule of podcasting and freelance work, I’m trying desperately to get the script ready by finishing the final episode of the first season so I can then try and  get it to the next stage! then theres figure out the kickstarter project so if anyone says to me in the next few days, Steven you dont work hard, you may not see them again!

because the things that are worth working hard for, are the reason they are hard in the first place!

picturesbybish.com-108

 

i did an interview where i talked about Geek apocalypse in detail! if your interested here it it is! 

 

open society debate

I seen a post today from a friend of mine that I found interesting and got me thinking about this feeling I have been havipicturesbybish.com-110ng recently: he was mentioning that he doesn’t understand why people post negative comments on Facebook and other social media, and it got me thinking of a number of different things.

Firstly I understand where he is coming from in that people who always post negative comments is very disappointing, but it all depends how he means they do that and how often and personal. Obviously if people are being mean spirited and looking to generate publicity from it then it doesn’t make sense and people would rather not read it and generally just need to be better people . that I totally get.

but having said that, I seen another friend of mine basically telling people to not phone her and ask her to take down her update cos she upsets certain people. Part of me as a libertarian understands her feeling, If they feel the need to say something and I do believe in the value of free speech, they should be able to say something generic about a subject, isn’t that the idea of an open society? and if its your profile, cant you in most respects say whatever you want?

I want to underline if they are attacking someone specifically then they shouldn’t and im not advocating that, but if they are just simply saying for example, I hate Steven Hesse’s blog, now regardless of whether I agree with them or not(yes I agree with them) its their opinion, and If your in this internet world of voicing your opinion you have to be prepared to hear people views and most likely if they do respond it’ll be the opposite of what you thinks right.  I’m not particularly bothered if someone is hateful towards me even, because there is always the option of ignoring that person and if your so affected by what they say, then why are you friends with them? and if they are not that relevant in your life, then why do you care?

I think a lot of the time the person listening very often forgets that the option is there to choice not to treat it seriously, just like people who complain that they dont like a certain programme, there is so much other choice, what ever happened to just saying, ‘this is not for me?’ im not saying if someone does something thats clearly horrible and unnecessary, but if its on the grander scheme of things not that signifanct as it’s simple as someone voicing their opinion, then wouldnt it be better your time spent on things and people you do like?

its abit like whenever I use youtube (which is actually everday) you go onto a youtube video and its abit like going into a mens toilet somewhere, when your there never look below half way, or you’ll see something really horrid. I cant get how people go onto the site and go, ‘now what can I type in today to torture myself with, just so I can comment how shit it is at the end of it’, Why would you do that? why not type in something you really want to see? but the thing is, you have the option of not caring, which I don’t, I’m there to watch the video, and if I do see a bad comment, It doesn’t affect me. It tells me more about the person saying the bad comment than it does me, they need a hug, and need to get a reality check to realise what they are doing. And I dont let it affect my enjoyment of whatever I like, because I choose to not go on like say a Justin Bieber song and go ‘this is ridiculously shit’ because I choose to go ‘this isn’t for me’ because it clearly isn’t. now if he came out and said Steven, I did this song for you and your age group and it was terrible, Id be just the same as I was, ‘this isnt for me’.

the thing is, we cant screen everybody, ‘please only say what I want or agree with’ wouldn’t make us learn, wouldn’t let us educate, wont let us grow and neither will posting harshness on the internet, if it really means that much to you, ring the person and tell them the truth, or if you don’t know them, then you don’t have to care or make the comment. you either like something or don’t  you either deal with something or accept it, there’s no other choice to be made. things is just like you cant please everyone, you cant have everything your own way.

‘we spent our whole lifes searching for, all the things we think we want, and never really knowing what we have”- Kris Roe