Socal media/texting gives us too much of an easy choice

Its funny if you look back at the inventions of what made things we use today great in regards to the internet. They always end up not being as good in my opinion as they once were. Or they lose their original purpose and become a kind of mesh of random not as good as if you looked elsewhere type thing.

Look at Facebook for example. What was once invented for Harvard students to share photos and comment online has become a messenger,advertising,company driven, celebrity taking, gaming network that all not as good if you went looking for one of them features individually. The key reason it works to me in popularity is that it gives the impression that you have everything you could need: browse what your friends are up to and share photos easily and talk to anyone that is on your friends list. Sounds great doesn’t it?

Problem is that its a bit like reality TV, trying to imply something happening when nothing is.The thing is the more that people I know combined with the bigger that Facebook gets the more I think its becoming incredibly destructive for a number of reasons. It makes things far too easy because you most likely already know what they have been up to because of their posts on their Facebook profile. recently family members brought some holiday photos round and members of my family said, ‘don’t need to see it cos I seen them on Facebook’ and I thought ‘we are losing the ability to personally and privately share and be grateful of people making an effort’. They went out of their way to print photos to show us and we threw it back in their face and the thing is, this is the way you know someone cares and how you actually connect with people  on a personal level. That connection is lost fleetingly and not seriously because its a small post in the large amount of posts you see on an average day.

As I said earlier, You know already most likely what the person has been doing by the post or photos they do, so when you next see them as they discuss what it was they were doing  your most likely to say ‘oh yeah I seen it on face book’. We are losing essentially small talk, but the  thing is, some people who I hold dear are deciding not to share things not because they don’t want to but because they think everyone they know has seen it already and don’t want to repeat themselves. That worries me in regards to having meaningful relationships and friendships that it makes it hard to actually regularly connect with people in a natural spontaneous way. Look at how people end up liking each other, usually its something you are never expecting and want to explore. It’s abit like a dating profile, you already know what you don’t like about someone or don’t before you have even met them. Yet, anyone who I’ve seen who are with someone know chances are they will be something that will annoy you, it implies and encourages a perfection that just isn’t realistic in finding.  because by our very definition we are human beings that makes mistakes and it just is not truthful.

The other thing that really disturbs me is texting, because again it was meant to be used as a quick way of communication and yet people try and talk to me about serious stuff when it literally doesn’t fit the technology. I say to everyone all the time, the problem with texting and any written communication is that it is your interpretation in reading it, which can easily not be the way that the persons means in what they are saying. At least in a phone call you can hear the way they are saying things and make a more informed decision. It should only be an option though if you can not go round and see them directly. If you really respect and like someone, they deserve to be told to their face, regardless of what it is that you are telling them.

Also, being a liberal in that people should say what they want, it still shocks me that people use facebook or social media as a way to personally attack someone. IF they are important to you and have upset you, tell them and deal with it properly, and if they aren’t worth bothering about, then why spend time telling everyone else you kinda know or not know what you think about it. It doesn’t make sense, but people in an open society feel the need to declare themselves, yet how they do it is self defeating.

The thing that really concerns me, is that we are building a generation of cowards, that would rather do the easy way than the right way. If your doing that every day then its going to seep into other parts of your life, and that’s not the right way to grow. the truth is what’s important and we need to get back to that. Would you rather be known as brave and honest, or a coward and a liar?

Always use things in moderation, and I hope we don’t lose the beauty of getting to know someone.


open society debate

I seen a post today from a friend of mine that I found interesting and got me thinking about this feeling I have been recently: he was mentioning that he doesn’t understand why people post negative comments on Facebook and other social media, and it got me thinking of a number of different things.

Firstly I understand where he is coming from in that people who always post negative comments is very disappointing, but it all depends how he means they do that and how often and personal. Obviously if people are being mean spirited and looking to generate publicity from it then it doesn’t make sense and people would rather not read it and generally just need to be better people . that I totally get.

but having said that, I seen another friend of mine basically telling people to not phone her and ask her to take down her update cos she upsets certain people. Part of me as a libertarian understands her feeling, If they feel the need to say something and I do believe in the value of free speech, they should be able to say something generic about a subject, isn’t that the idea of an open society? and if its your profile, cant you in most respects say whatever you want?

I want to underline if they are attacking someone specifically then they shouldn’t and im not advocating that, but if they are just simply saying for example, I hate Steven Hesse’s blog, now regardless of whether I agree with them or not(yes I agree with them) its their opinion, and If your in this internet world of voicing your opinion you have to be prepared to hear people views and most likely if they do respond it’ll be the opposite of what you thinks right.  I’m not particularly bothered if someone is hateful towards me even, because there is always the option of ignoring that person and if your so affected by what they say, then why are you friends with them? and if they are not that relevant in your life, then why do you care?

I think a lot of the time the person listening very often forgets that the option is there to choice not to treat it seriously, just like people who complain that they dont like a certain programme, there is so much other choice, what ever happened to just saying, ‘this is not for me?’ im not saying if someone does something thats clearly horrible and unnecessary, but if its on the grander scheme of things not that signifanct as it’s simple as someone voicing their opinion, then wouldnt it be better your time spent on things and people you do like?

its abit like whenever I use youtube (which is actually everday) you go onto a youtube video and its abit like going into a mens toilet somewhere, when your there never look below half way, or you’ll see something really horrid. I cant get how people go onto the site and go, ‘now what can I type in today to torture myself with, just so I can comment how shit it is at the end of it’, Why would you do that? why not type in something you really want to see? but the thing is, you have the option of not caring, which I don’t, I’m there to watch the video, and if I do see a bad comment, It doesn’t affect me. It tells me more about the person saying the bad comment than it does me, they need a hug, and need to get a reality check to realise what they are doing. And I dont let it affect my enjoyment of whatever I like, because I choose to not go on like say a Justin Bieber song and go ‘this is ridiculously shit’ because I choose to go ‘this isn’t for me’ because it clearly isn’t. now if he came out and said Steven, I did this song for you and your age group and it was terrible, Id be just the same as I was, ‘this isnt for me’.

the thing is, we cant screen everybody, ‘please only say what I want or agree with’ wouldn’t make us learn, wouldn’t let us educate, wont let us grow and neither will posting harshness on the internet, if it really means that much to you, ring the person and tell them the truth, or if you don’t know them, then you don’t have to care or make the comment. you either like something or don’t  you either deal with something or accept it, there’s no other choice to be made. things is just like you cant please everyone, you cant have everything your own way.

‘we spent our whole lifes searching for, all the things we think we want, and never really knowing what we have”- Kris Roe